Dear John Cena, I Can See You

And hear you too. Perhaps before I get into the heart of what I want to say, I should probably explain why it matters to me. I have been a wrestling fan for nearly 33 years now. I grew up watching the likes of the Ultimate Warrior, Shawn Michaels, Randy Savage, and the list goes on. I am a fan of yours as well. I admire what you do outside of the WWE ring for Make a Wish. You do a lot of good in this world and put smiles on people’s face, and in these times, that is important.

Perhaps that’s why I was so disappointed watching your promo segment on Smackdown Live this past Tuesday. At first, I enjoyed the segment like I usually do when you are on my TV. I appreciated your recognition of the Women’s Revolution and at how women superstars are equal to their male counterparts. The importance of this message can’t be emphasized enough. It meant a lot to me as female fan to hear someone who is the face of the company as a wrestler note that women are important to this industry.

But then you said something that I wish I hadn’t heard. In the midst of the segment, you called the Miz a pussy. Sure, it was bleeped out, but it was clear what you had said. I was left feeling disappointed and not because I am offended by the word itself. What bothers me is the context in which it was used as means to demean the Miz. In this context, what it implies is that women are somehow less than.

Let me explain a bit further. Whenever one wants to question a man’s masculinity, they automatically do so by calling him a pussy or any other idiom that relates weakness with femininity. What it says when you use the slang terminology for female genitalia in a derogatory manner is that women are less than men. It says that being equated with the female anatomy is shameful. After you had just taken the time to call women superstars equal to the men, you then chose to show that women were in fact not equal. All of this reinforces gender stereotypes and contributes to the toxic masculinity often associated with the sports in general and WWE specifically.

I was reminded of two things. The first was when I was watching Trevor Noah's latest stand-up special. He told a story that ended up with someone calling him a pussy because he didn't want to go out drinking. Noah then talked about how he can't understand why men always want to equate weakness with the vagina. He talked about how it one of the strongest muscles in the body, how it brings forth life. If anything, we should see being called a pussy as an indication of strength rather than weakness. It's the gender bias of linguistic power dynamics.

The second thing I was reminded of was something I experienced at an independent wrestling show a couple of weekends ago. While I was watching a women’s match at the show, I was surrounded by male fans who throughout the match commented on the female competitors’ looks. They called the one woman ugly and fat. They made lewd comments about the other woman in the match. Later on in the evening, I heard a young boy about 8 or 9 call one of the male wrestlers a pussy, just like you had done. I was bothered by it then because it was disheartening to hear misogynistic language from someone so young. From listening to the comments from the adults, both male and female, with him, it was clear why he thought it was acceptable to say. 

By you using this word laden with the misogynistic overtones, it reinforces that this type of behavior is acceptable. It implies that women are less than men. We already have a man in the highest position in our country who has said that he could do whatever he wanted to women because he was a celebrity, including grabbing them by the pussy. Words matter.

Sincerely,

Alaina Pascarella, wrestling fan since 1983

The Clothes Do Not Make the Woman

I’m sure how many times this needs to be said until it sticks, but women can be sexy and strong. There is nothing inherently anti-feminist about women wearing low cut or revealing clothing. Just because a woman chooses to wear tight fitting or show off some skin does not somehow make her less than. We need to stop this.

This weekend and early this week I was confronted with this very topic on two different occasions. The first involves the story this weekend regarding two teenage girls who were barred from boarding a United flight because they were wearing leggings. Now, United has stated that the girls were in violation of the dress code that applies only to employees and family who are flying using the airline. It is the opinion of the airline that when they are flying on their airline the employees or family members are representing the airline to the public. Let me be honest, when I fly, I couldn’t tell you who is an employee of the airline or not. I also couldn’t care less about what someone is wearing when they fly. I just want to get on my flight and get to wear I am going.

People were, in my opinion, rightfully angered by the incident. I understand that there are rules and standards, but are those standards fair? Like dress codes in school, I would say that the rules seem to unfairly target women. Among the standards, clothing which bare midriffs; tight spandex or form-fitting clothing; clothing intended as sleepwear or swimwear; anything provocative, inappropriately revealing, or see-through; any article of clothing that reveals any type of undergarment; or shorts that are shorter than 3 inches above the knee. This is no different than the rationale that restricts what girls can wear in school because it might distract the boys. It unfairly sexualizes women in declaring that anything that reveals an aspect of their figure is somehow too dirty for the general public.

The other incident that tells me feminism has a long way to go was when I read a theater review for a production of Shakespeare’s Coriolanus on a local online news site. In the interest of full disclosure, I have worked quite frequently with the theater group Prenzie Players and even worked as a SFX and props designer on this particular production. However, as a feminist, I was angered by the insinuation of the reviewer that because of the costume of Aufidia (normally a male role, Aufidius) was short and revealing that somehow her portrayal was not feminist. Again, I was confronted with this idea that a woman cannot be both sexual and competent. The reviewer acknowledged that the portrayal was of a woman who was strong, competent warrior despite the fact that she was wearing makeup and a short tunic. 

This was all after she acknowledged that the casting of a woman in this male role was a “win” for feminists. She then proceeded to discuss how the makeup and attire undercut the “feminist” intent. I would say that this had the complete opposite effect. One thing that the reviewer got a bit right was that the costume made the actress appear like a “Roman Wonder Woman.” Well, I have to ask is this: what is wrong with that? When I look back on my childhood, Wonder Woman is one of those characters that I could look to as a role model. She was a strong woman, who was also beautiful. It wasn’t her beauty that defined her. Instead, she was defined by her goodness and heroism.

The fact that people continue to sexualize women just because of what they wear contributes heavily to the toxic environment that excuses bragging about sexual assault as “locker room talk,” insinuates that female celebrities who have their private photos and videos leaked to the internet “deserved it,” or overlooks lewd comments made to women on the street as “boys will be boys.” This is what I see as being anti-feminist. Everyone’s feminism may look a little different, but ultimately, the heart of feminism is that women should be treated like people not objects. The moment you begin to define a woman by her attire, you become part of the problem.