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First of all, I want to be clear about something. The “fake” nerd girl does not exist. This idea that someone, because of gender, cannot possibly be a real nerd is ridiculous. Yet, this trope continues to be an issue that women are consistently fighting against in the nerd community.
It is perhaps necessary to define what it means to be a nerd. Nerdiness isn’t defined by a specific set of traits in that it doesn’t require those identifying as nerds to have a checklist of interests that must be met in order to be admitted into the club. For me, nerdiness is ultimately defined by passion and love. Do you love football so much that you not only play fantasy football but take it as seriously as the games of your favorite team, researching stats, and making trades and rosters based on this? Guess what? You’re a nerd. Can you identify all or most of the periodic? Nerd. Do you know the line of succession in case of the death of a President and other high ranking government officials? Nerd. Can you name all of the members of the Green Lantern Corps? Nerd. You get the point. Being a nerd is not about what you like but really about the energy that you invest in your interests. Do you love something so much that it becomes a major part of your identity? You’re a nerd, and that’s great.
There’s also no set amount of time that makes one a nerd. I understand completely that it can be frustrating when someone who is brand new to the fandom comes in and begins to take ownership of the thing that we have spent so much time with that it’s like our best friend. Have you read every issue of Captain America since you were child? Yep, you’re a nerd. But guess what? That girl who is discovering Captain America because of the MCU and seeing the rich tapestry of stories available is a nerd too. Her passion is no less than yours just because her entry into the fandom is later and different. It doesn't matter if you started to like Harry Potter a month ago because you saw all of your friends posting about their Patronuses on Facebook or if you've been a fan since the Sorcerer's Stone, or Philosopher's Stone for you Brits,came out. If you like nerdy things, are passionate about them, and want to embrace that world with all you have, then you've got nerd cred. Pain and suffering for fandom does not a nerd make.
These attitudes and frustration lead to gatekeeping, an idea that is dangerous to the nerd community. Gatekeeping is essentially a practice that asks for members of the nerd community to establish their own credentials and prove that they indeed belong. As a woman, it is something that I have dealt with on a consistent basis, and I know many female friends who have as well. Ladies, you know the conversation that tends to ensue when you express a love for something that is considered nerdy and for guys only. It usually goes something like this: “Oh you like [x], well what is [some obscure fact that only the most devoted fan would know]?” So it begins, the knowledge test to prove that you are indeed a fan and not someone pretending to be a fan for male attention. After a while, you just start to prepare for these types of questions. You have the most obscure answers for simple questions like who is your favorite character in [x]. When asked about my own Captain America love, my go-to storyline and writer for the comic was Ed Brubaker’s Winter Soldier arc. It was gritty and really showed the struggles of Steve Rogers as he wrestles with the idea of redemption. Now that this storyline has become part of the MCU, I have to justify my choice by being able to detail the differences between the comic and the film.
I wish I could place the blame for gatekeeping on guys in the nerd community, but if I’m completely honest, sometimes other women are the worst offenders. It often comes from a place of love for the thing, but in actuality, it comes from a place of competition. I’m going to speak to some of my own experiences here and call myself out on my own bullshit because I have been guilty of gatekeeping on occasion myself. In these moments, it can sometimes come from a place of pain and isolation. I think anyone who identifies as a nerd has some pretty painful memories of feeling like an outsider and being ridiculed for the things that are now so trendy to like. It can be hard to deal with the person who once teased you for liking something now wanting to be included in that community. We want to protect this thing that we love from those who hurt us. It’s a natural reaction.
In gatekeeping though, we actually tarnish the community that we love so much. At least for me, I sought out others in the nerd community because I wanted to belong to something. Much of our nerdiness comes with a sense of isolation from the popular kids. We were bullied and teased for liking comic books, RPGs, WWE, Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, or whatever it was that wasn’t considered “cool.” We were the weirdos, the losers, or whatever epithet they threw at us. It’s important that we don’t become those bullies.
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