Chivalry is Dead, But Should It Be?

I’ve often heard the old adage that chivalry is dead. It definitely stirs up mixed feelings. There is a part of me that laments the change in behavior towards women, but then I think about what chivalry has meant over the centuries and realize that in some ways it is a step forward for women.

Perhaps it is best to look at the institution of chivalric code to get a better idea of why this might be. Chivalric code was institution of medieval knighthood developed between 1170 and 1220 CE. At first, it was on military origin but would eventually adapt into what we commonly think of when we think of knights. This code was on full display in the romances of the Middle Ages and stories of King Arthur and Camelot. This chivalric code would die out as a military code of ethic as military strategy shifted from the use of mounted knights in battle to professional infantrymen. 

But just what is the chivalric code and what does it have to do with the treatment of women? When we look at medieval literature, chivalry can be classified into three basic areas of duty:

1.       Countrymen and fellow Christians – This duty was closely tied to the virtues of mercy, courage, valor, fairness, protection of the weak and the poor, and service to one’s lord. This also encapsulates the idea of self-sacrifice in order to fulfill that duty.

2.       God – This duty was all about faith in God and faithfulness to the Church. It was expected that a knight would be the champion of good, engage in acts of generosity, and remain obedient to God above his lord.

3.       Women – This is where we get the ideas that we have about courtly love. This meant that a knight would pledge himself to serve one lady above all others; however, this did not necessarily mean marriage. It also demanded that knights behave towards all women with an air of gentleness and graciousness.

In 1883, Léon Gautier created what he called the Ten Commandments of chivalry. This was based on what he had gathered from the medieval texts he had studied as the traditions of knighthood had drastically changed. These are as follows:

1.       Thou shalt believe all that the Church teaches and thou shalt observe all its directions.

2.       Thou shalt defend the Church.

3.       Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.

4.       Thou shalt love the country in which thou wast born.

5.       Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.

6.       Thou shalt make war against the infidel without cessation and without mercy.

7.       Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the laws of God.

8.       Thou shalt never lie, and shalt remain faithful to thy pledged word.

9.       Thou shalt be generous, and give largesse to everyone.

10.   Thou shalt be everywhere and always the champion of the Right and the Good against Injustice and Evil. (Gautier, 1891)

We can see an overlap in these commandments with the three duties. 

In contemporary society, often when we refer to acts of chivalry, we are talking about men holding doors open for women, pulling out chairs, offering their coats, etc. We tend to equate chivalry with gentlemanly behavior. On some level, I know for me that I do enjoy to be treated this way. However, there is also the connotation that men should treat women this way because we are still considered the “weaker sex.” 

This is where the issue becomes tricky for me. I want to be as independent as possible, but there are moments, like when I’m changing a tire on the side of the road, that I wish there were more people willing to stop and help. I am perfectly capable of changing a tire, so I don’t want someone to stop out of a sense of duty because they think I need help simply because of my gender. It’s a tough concept to navigate because it feels like it’s an all or nothing prospect. It is so closely tied to traditional gender roles that parts of it no longer feel relevant. It is an interesting dilemma for the contemporary woman seeking to be treated as an equal to men. This is question at the heart of the feminism. When does it cease to be politeness and treating all people the same and treating women as better than men?

Gautier, L. (1891). Chivalry. Translated by Henry Frith